Everyone's a winner

As Monty Python would say "And now for something completely different!" I am a firm believer in continually stretching myself so, not content with being up to our necks in book writing projects (with another new idea bubbling away for whenever the good lord sees fit to add an extra couple of days to the week!) I thought I'd try my hand at fiction.

This story was inspired by a real life discovery that I made in a ladies loo (see photo at the end) - when I saw the items I just knew there had to be a story behind them and as there's no chance I'll ever discover the real sequence of events which led to them being there, I thought I'd make up my own.  Hope you like it.

Everyone's a Winner

Laura licked the doughnut sugar from the corner of her mouth as a small blob of jam crept down her chin.

“You missed a bit” laughed Emily, pointing to her own chin to show where it was.

Laura picked up the napkin from the table and wiped her chin.

“Other side”

Laura tried again, this time clearing the offending jammy blob. “That’ll teach me, I really shouldn’t have had that.  Heaven knows how many Slimming World Syns there were in it!”

“Who cares?” said Emily, poring over the map “We’ve got another 2 miles ahead of us and that’s on top of the 8 we’ve already done” She fiddled around with the string on the top of her well packed rucksack, gently pressing her neatly folded top down inside so it didn’t catch on the toggle.  She leaned the rucksack against the table leg then tidied their plates away onto the empty tray and wiped the crumbs off the table with her napkin.

Laura peered out through the steamed up windows of the cafe into the slow drizzle of the late afternoon, the mist from the windows indistinguishable from the clouds beyond.  She pulled her chair in to let someone squeeze past “Why do they always cram the tables so close together?” she muttered “I’ve barely got room to breathe here!”

Emily smirked. “You putting your waterproofs back on?”

“Nah, too hot.  Well, maybe the top, but not the legs.  How hilly is the next section?”

“All flat” replied Emily.

Laura sighed, screwing up her nose as she peered out of the window again.  “How about we just give it 5 more minutes to see if it clears up?”

Emily clenched her jaw with irritation and wondered why Laura had agreed to come on the hike when all she’d done was complain about the weather.  She’d been in an odd mood all morning.  She watched as Laura tipped half the contents of her rucksack onto the floor of the cafe and rummaged through them looking for a hair band.  Locating one she slipped it on, pushing her loose blonde hair back off her face.  “That’s better” she smiled, haphazardly stuffing the contents back in and pulling the lid down tight.  “Damn!  Forgot my hat!” she muttered before repeating the entire process again.

Emily thought back to the networking event where they’d met just 2 weeks earlier.  They’d really clicked and had kept in touch with texts and messages since then.  Their shared love of hiking led Emily to suggest a 10 mile yomp around Derwent Water; it had been glorious weather when they planned it but today was the first dismal day in ages.

Glancing at the floor she noticed a small box half under Laura’s chair.  “You missed something” she said, using her foot to slide it closer before bending to pick it up.  She handed it over to Laura. Clear Blue Pregnancy Testing Kit.  “Anything you want to tell me?” asked Emily, smiling.

Laura’s face flushed.  They’d only known each other such a short time.  Emily reached over and put her hand on Laura’s arm.  “Honestly, just blurt it out, I promise you can trust me.”

Laura hesitated, biting her lower lip and searching Emily’s face for some sign of reassurance.

“Well, it’s like this” she finally began.  “We’ve been trying for kids for a little while and I think I may actually be pregnant, except now it’s finally real I am absolutely terrified.  I haven’t even told Pete.  I bought the test before I met you in Keswick earlier, but I’m too scared to use it.  I’m scared I might be pregnant and equally scared that I might not be; does that make any sense at all?”

“Sort of a Schrödinger’s baby scenario?” said Emily. 

Laura laughed “Exactly; if I don’t take the test then I am both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time.”

“What are you scared of?” asked Emily, her hand still resting on Laura’s arm and her hazel eyes never leaving her face.

“Everything” blurted Laura “I just don’t feel grown up enough to look after a baby.  I’ve killed every houseplant I’ve ever owned!”

“Babies are different” said Emily reassuringly “For a start you can’t leave them on windowsills unattended and I’m pretty sure you need to water them more than once a week.”

They both laughed.

“Seriously though” she continued “You can do this; millions of women have done it before you and there will be loads of people around to support you – Pete, your family, the nurses, your friends, me.”

“I know, I’m being silly”

“Not silly at all, this is the biggest change you’ll ever make in your life.  Of course you’ll be nervous, but you’ve got this; whatever the result of that test you’ll cope just fine.”

Laura smiled and put her hand on top of Emily’s.  “Thank you.  I just need to take a deep breath and pull myself together.”

“Tell you what” said Emily “When we get back to Keswick we’ll nip to the public loos in Booth’s and do it.  I’ll be right outside the whole time.”

“Deal”

As they trudged their way back into Keswick they talked about a million different things and none of them were baby related.  Crossing the bridge back into town Laura stopped again.

“I can’t do this.  I am so scared!”

“Wait there 2 minutes” said Emily, disappearing off into the nearby CoOp.  She emerged soon after clutching a small bottle of Shiraz and a scratch card.

“This is for Dutch courage” she said, waving the wine bottle “and this” waving the scratch card “is to give me something to do while you’re in there.”

Giggling like naughty school children they drank the wine straight from the bottle and raced to Booth’s before Laura changed her mind again.

“Right” said Emily “In you go.  I’ll wait out here and see how many millions I’ve won.”

Laura disappeared into the cubicle while Emily dug 2p out of her purse and started on her scratch card.

“You ok?”she called through

“Yup, just got to wait 2 minutes now”

“Can you remember the Countdown music?”  They both began giggling and humming together, finishing with a flourishing “did-di, did-di, diddly bum!”

“Well?” asked Emily

“Negative” said Laura, opening the cubicle door

“Same here; it would seem that we are neither pregnant nor millionaires.  How are you feeling?”

“I’m OK actually” said Laura, her voice muffled in Emily’s shoulder as she gave her a big hug.  “Thanks for being there.”

“No worries” smiled Emily “What shall I do with these?”  They looked around for a bin, but there was none.

“There’s a sanitary bin next to the loo” said Laura “It’s not perfect but we may as well just leave them there.”

“Fair enough” said Emily, placing the lottery ticket, the empty wine bottle and the pregnancy test on top of the bin next to the toilet.

“I think after all that we deserve a larger glass of wine; the Dog and Gun do great food too – you in?”

“Definitely” smiled Laura as they made their way outside and the first rays of weak sunshine finally broke through the clouds.

What makes us love somewhere?

Someone, somewhere, will hate this view
Patterdale

Think of your most favourite place on earth.  Got it?  Now think of your least favourite place.  Got that too?  Doesn't it freak you out that for someone, somewhere, those two places will be the other way around?  I spend a lot of my life surrounded by people and am continually surprised by how different we are and how there are plenty of very lovely, reasonable, kind, considerate people who hate the things, and places, that I love (and vice versa).  So what is it that affects our love of a place?

Over the past few weeks I’ve been using the Times Britain's Best Walks book to revisit some favourite spots in Cumbria and uncover a few new corners.  There are 100 walks in total and all of the locations mentioned/ photographed in this blog are on, or around, one of the 11 routes in Cumbria.

Childhood memories?

 

Watendlath

Many folks will suggest that we feel comfortable with what we know from childhood;  fair point - my love for the outdoors probably comes from family holidays in Wales and school trips to the Long Mynd.  But I only ever had one, very fleeting (less than a day), trip to Cumbria in my youth so it's always puzzled me why I instantly felt at home here when I first visited properly in 2010.  I know other folks who love the outdoors but just haven't felt comfortable or been able to settle here - why does one person connect with a place but another, with similar tastes, doesn't?

Love of the mountains?

Nr Eskdale

Maybe it's just the mountains I love?  Good argument, but I get passionately excited about all the corners of Cumbria and the huge variety of landscapes I can explore - the coast, the bluebell walks and the beautiful woodlands.  I have some friends who only like the mountains and shun low level walks; I know "we can't all like the same thing" - but why is that?

As seen on screen?

Derwent Water or Takodana?

Does being seen on the big screen affect how we feel about a place?  Beatrix Potter, Wordsworth and the Victorian painters have certainly influenced people to visit the area over the past couple of hundred years - and perhaps Star Wars, Withnail and I or Snow White and the Huntsman are influencing a new generation.  Whenever I watch one of my favourite films, Stardust, I’m always overcome with a desire to head to Skye where big chunks of it were filmed.  Who needs a tourist board when you have movies?

Because of how it sounds (or doesn’t sound!)

Crummock Water - Peace & Quiet...

Here’s an interesting and little known fact about me – I find the sound of washing machines oddly comforting.  It could be the “white noise” rhythmic element or it could be that when I was very young my mum worked in a laundrette and I can remember being taken to meet her at the end of her shift.  I have a “noisy head” – my brain is always on the go and, when I’m surrounded by sound in a city it can all get a bit much for me so, for that reason I am drawn to peaceful, quiet places.  Some sounds are allowed of course – the crunch of gravel underfoot, the song of a skylark high above you and the sound of the flask lid unscrewing...

Because it’s not somewhere else!

Near Dufton but not near anywhere else 

My work travels take me to lots of different cities and to London a couple of times each month – I am not a fan of cities and sometimes I’m just happy to be anywhere that isn’t a city.  A couple of cities are allowed on my “nice places to be” list – Glasgow and Lancaster – the first because it has awesome, free, museums (including Kelvingrove – possibly my favourite museum ever) and the second because it’s rammed with fascinating history and is usually my first breath of fresh air when I get off the train from London.

Because it’s interesting

Hutton Roof Crags - more than just fine look fells...

I didn’t just marry my lovely husband because he’s damned fine looking, I married him because he’s damned fine looking AND interesting to be with.  For me it’s not enough that the scenery looks pretty it also needs to be interesting.  Like Hutton Roof Crags – stunning to look at and fascinating geological history too.  What’s not to love?

How it smells

Barbondale - mmmmm - can I have my sarnies yet?

When spring sprungs and the garlic hits the woods I spend entire walks with a rumbling stomach.  I love the smell of garlic and I’m sure consumption of garlic bread rises while they’re in flower.  I also love the salty smell of the sea, the smell of the fresh earth after the rain and the smell of the freshly cut grass after the farmers have been bringing in the hay – someone should really make air fresheners that smell like that, I’d definitely pack one for my city travels.

Familiarity – love at second sight

Duddon - worth a second look

Sometimes I think we need to visit somewhere a few times before we fall for it properly.  The Duddon Valley is a firm favourite with us now but the first time we visited I wasn’t completely sold.  Of course that could have been because we got lost in an old woodland,wandered around arguing for an hour or so and didn’t get back to the car until after dark...

Previous life?

Kentmere Valley

Are there supernatural forces at work?  I am a largely a woman of science, but I don’t think science has yet explained everything – especially some of the odd touchy feely stuff; like those times when you visit somewhere and know you’ve been there before.  Or like my first ever proper visit to Cumbria when I just knew I’d come home.  I still can’t explain that feeling to anyone - I may not have been born in the county (hardly my fault!) but I know that I belong here.

All of the above?

Haweswater - my happy place

I’m guessing the truth is that it’s a bit of everything. A whole bunch of subtle messages collide in our brains which come together and produce a warm and cost “Ready Brek” glow when we connect with somewhere.  Either that or they’re putting something in the water in Cumbria and we’re all under the spell of an evil overlord.  Or maybe I shouldn’t write blogs when I’m drinking wine..?

All of the photos in this blog were taken on or around walks featured in The Times Britain's Best Walks.  All the walks were described clearly and concisely with interesting notes from the author.  It was great to see some routes away from the usual hotspots and it’s definitely a book we’ll keep on Delores for our trips around the UK.

The 5 finest benches in Cumbria

When it comes to enjoying a good sit down with a cracking view, Cumbria really sets the benchmark (you see what I did there?).  These days life seems to be lived at high speed, so what better antidote than to park your bum for while, sit back and enjoy the view?  Here are five of my favourites...

The Blencathra Bench

There's only one thing better than climbing Blencathra and that's sitting down and looking at Blencathra and there's no finer bench to do it from than this on.  There's no big climb required either - it's simply a gentle stroll along the old disused railway.  It would be hard to find more perfect sarnie spot in the whole of the land.

The bench on The Band

OK, this one requires a bit of a hike but, come on, look at those views - it's absolutely worth it!  Next time you're in the Langdale Valley, instead of joining everyone else on the walk up to Stickle Tarn follow the route up onto The Band instead and, just as you draw level with the Langdale Pikes up pops this little beauty.  Perfect in Summer but super special when there's snow on the fell tops.


The Inspirational Bench

I've blogged before about Orrest Head being one of the most important, and spectacular, views in the whole of the county so it's no surprise that there's no shortage of benches at the summit.  Although it requires a bit of a walk there's a very easy route up from Bowness.  It's a popular spot so you're unlikely to have the place to yourself but don't panic, there are plenty of benches up there (this is my favourite though!)

The hidden away bench

Scout Scar is just to the west of Kendal (and I mean 'just') - there are a couple of lovely big car parks and a stunning, largely flat, walk out along the top of the scar with sweeping views racing away in every direction.  There's even a giant mushroom you can sit it with a guide to the surrounding fells.  I'm often saying that fab town of Kendal is overlooked when it comes to Cumbrian destinations, and what better place to overlook it from than right here.

The Busiest Bench

There is just about zero chance of you getting this bench to yourself, at least not for very long. Before you've got the lid off your Thermos there'll be someone else loitering nearby ready to leap into your place should you leave - but it is a truly fine bench.  For those that haven't spotted where it is, it's the bench at Friar's Crag overlooking Derwent Water - a glorious place to be, even on a day when the weather isn't quite perfect.