Colourful adjectives

I've written in the past about what walking guides say and what they actually mean and I focused primarily on the directions, well today I want to turn my attention to the way they describe what they see.  Having now written a good selection of walks based in and around Cumbria I can tell you that finding new and exciting ways to describe the landscape isn't always easy - but here's a rough guide to what we really mean...

"Remote" - 5 miles from the nearest Tesco
"Very remote" - 10 miles from the nearest Tesco
"Remote isolation" - 10 miles from the nearest Tesco and no phone signal

Blissfully remote isolation

"Green pasture" - boggy

"Lush green pasture" - very boggy
"Rural idyll" - smells of cow sh*t

A very lush green pasture and a rural idyll to boot.

"Spectacular" - mountains
"Dramatic" - mountains with moody clouds

Dramatic, definitely dramatic

"Peaceful" - lake
"Relaxing" - admiring the lake from the beer garden
"Historic landscape" - lots of old buildings, many of them falling down

Piel Island - Historic Landscape

"Stark beauty" - no trees
"Windswept" - what trees there are are all growing at a 45 degree angle

Windswept and intereseting

"Breathtaking" - that was a bit of a steep climb
"Picturesque" - white stone building in view...
"Quaint" - ...with a thatched roof...
"Idyllic" - ...which just happens to be a pub

Idyllic (hic)

"Barren wilderness" - whaddya mean there's no pub?!

"Rugged" - I may have just sprained my ankle

"Wooded" - trees blocking the views

"Parched landscape" - you're clearly not in Cumbria