Wednesday, 11 March 2015

14 Things Hiking can learn from Gaming

I went out hiking all on my own yesterday - not a problem in itself, but it gave me too much time to think.  I put that time to good use though and by the end of the day had a whole list of improvements to hiking which could be made if only it were a computer game...

1.  First up there'd be achievements - "Achievement Unlocked - Climbing Blencathra" or "Achievement Unlocked - you remembered the flasks"  that sort of thing.
2.  At the drop of a hat you'd be able to change into any clothes to suit any conditions - and ALL of them would be way more impressive than your current set of waterproofs.


3.  Never mind geocaching, the hills would be full of hidden health packs and whatever illness, fatigue or injury has befallen you, wolf one of these babies down and you'll be just fine.


4.  Whenever you spot a monument, building or feature you were previously unaware of, a large white arrow and helpful text box would pop up next to it telling you all you need to know.


5.  You would NEVER get lost again because the route would light up ahead of you just like it does in Fable 2.


6.   At all times there would be a proximity detector available on your phone to tell you if there are other people in your general vicinity.  This would be useful for changes of clothes, toilet visits and arguments.


7.  Invisibility cloaks would allow you to sneak past sheep without disturbing them and creep up on any other wildlife you've been trying for years to get a photograph of.



8.  When you reach an uncrossable river or bog, any surrounding objects such as fence posts, drinking troughs or old farm machinery would bounce up and down Lego style, allowing you to assemble them into a bridge, boat or raft.  (This will, of course, unlock another achievement)


9.  Light bridges - there'd be hand held light bridges which could be deployed with the flick of a wrist and allow you to cross from, say, Scafell Pike to Sca Fell without going all the way down and back up again,


10.  Magic maps would allow you to select your destination and zoom right there.  Not to cheat when getting to the top of the fells (where's the fun in that?), but to help when you're soaked through and still 5 miles from the pub.


11.  You'd be able to carry an ENORMOUS quantity of stuff before you became over encumbered.


12.  Your regenerating shields would protect you from midges and cleggs.  Especially cleggs.



13.  When required, absolutely any wire could be used as a zipwire, all you'd need to do is jump on and assume a stylish pose.


14.  Cortana would replace your GPRS - not the voice on your windows phone, the original Cortana from Halo - because, let's face it, she rocks and is a WAY better idea than having HAL in your head "I can't let you go that way Dave"


And just to prove I really did get out on the fells yesterday - here's a few pics of my jolly up Black Combe.

Achievement unlocked - Black Combe

The fabled town of Bootle

Black Combe with zipwires...  ;-)

Beautiful beach at Silecroft

View from the transporter home.