Sunday, 17 May 2015

14 Signs you've been away from the hills too long.

Irritating though it is I have to work for a living - I'm very lucky in that I enjoy what I do when I'm away from the fells - but it's been more than hectic lately and seems far too long since I was out there having fun.

As I was pondering my mild misfortune I realised there are a few tell tale signs that let you know when you've been away from the hills too long...

1.  Your pathetic face when you know your friends are out on the fells but you have to work.

But you can't just leave me here...

2.  You convince myself that hiking shoes are appropriate for the office, just so you can wear them.

Yup - no one will notice!

3.  Your walking trousers mysteriously shrink.  They've just been sitting in the wardrobe while you've been sitting in the office, but for some strange and inexplicable reason they've shrunk, though only around the waist.

4.  Despite the fact you've not been hiking for a while, the hiking snack basket is empty.  This may, or may not, be linked to point 3.


5. You've spent so long cooped up indoors that the window next to your desk looks like an excited spaniel has been sitting there...

Lucky or "not so lucky cos you're stuck indoors"
(Thanks to Alicia for the pic)

6.  You'll seize any chance for a sniff of fresh air.

Coco clearly feels the same way
(Thanks to Jo for the pic!)

7.  You spend increasing amounts of time on social media hiking vicariously through the posts of others, but all the while hating everyone who posts them just a little bit...

8.  Ssshhhhh - don't tell anyone, but you're secretly happy when the weather forecast is bad.


9.  On a positive note, nothing aches and you've fewer bruises, though you may have taken to sniffing Deep Heat in order to "get your fix".

Scratch n sniff

10.  Your hiking boots have been ignominiously buried behind the hoover and a 5 litres of screen wash.

"Lemme out!"

11.  You begin to dream up crazier and crazier plans for hikes - you start with a few errant fells you've not tried before, but soon you're crossing the Himalaya or hiking the coast of South America.

Amazing hiking but in need of support right now
Click here to support #ClimbforCan

12.  You will find any excuse to walk anywhere - you'll pace up and down while waiting for your train and you'll explore the furthest reaches of the platform under the watchful yet slightly confused gaze of your fellow travellers. 

13.  You're just plain grumpy.

Put the camera down, walk away slowly and
no-one gets hurt...

14.  And when you get the chance to finally go out for a hike - this happens.

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