Great North Fun Day 1

I'm counting it as day one even though it was the day we travelled up here. To be honest it's pretty scary leaving your house for 6 weeks - even if it is going to be in the safe hands of some house sitters. You can't help wondering what incredibly important item you forgot to pack.

Stockton

The trip was pretty uneventful bar a short break for lunch near Leicester. We were directed to the HGV area and suddenly Delores (our campervan) felt very small indeed, rather like a mouse getting under the feet of a herd of elephants. Still there was much loud singing along the way again and as much jigging in the seat as was possible whilst still maintaining full control of Delores.

We got to the Stockton site around 6pm and it quickly became clear that poor Steve had picked up a tummy virus - at least we're on a Caravan Club site for a few nights so we're afforded a little 'bathroom luxury'. Tummy bugs and motorhomes aren't a great combination! Anyway I did what any good wife would do in the circumstances - I dashed to Asda to get him pills and soup, got completely distracted and returned 'home' an hour or so later with a new handbag and top...

The campsite itself is nice enough. Stockton is very industrial so the views of the hills are partly obscured by chimneys and factories making looking at the countryside rather like trying to pick out a familiar face in a crowded room - you know it's here but you only get the odd tantalising glimpse. Mind you I'm not complaining - I actually think it's great to see there is some industry alive and well in this country. At least I hope it's well - if it isn't it clearly shouldn't be relying on me to help it out - look how much use I am with stomach bugs!

Oh and it was Steve's coat. The vitally important thing we forgot. Still at least I know my way around the clothes department of the local Asda - not completely useless afterall!

Wokingham Wanderings...

As it's not long before we disappear off for an extended pootle around the North I decided to take Delores to work to meet everyone.  Phase one was getting her into the carpark and phase two was finding somewhere to park her.  I eventually found a nice shady corner.  I find trees reduce the noise of the rain drumming down on the roof to a level where you can have a conversation without bellowing into the ears of the person next to you, and in the unlikely event of it being sunny... 

I proudly announced that she was in the car park and took a small group of work colleagues out for a guided tour.  I was almost at her door before I realised that I'd bought out my swipe card and not the keys I needed to get into the van.  Undaunted we all decided to have lunch onboard so myself, Tracey, Jane and Julie procured some exotic delicacies(!) from the staff canteen and headed forth.  It was all fine apart from the fact I hadn't expected to be spending any time on there and so hadn't levelled her, this meant we were all sitting at a jaunty angle and had to hang on to our drinks to prevent them sliding off the table!  Shame none of us took a pic for posterity!

Delores got the thumbs up from everyone (who then quickly put their thumbs down again to catch their drinks!) - my main concern now is checking for stow aways.  There's an odd noise coming from the overcab bed and Tracey has been missing for a couple of days... 

Relaxing Sunday?

A typical day in a MH? 

Thought I’d recount what happened to me last Sunday – just to see if it rings any bells with anyone else... To give it a little context it was our 4th morning on a fabulous but rather large and rambling CL in the middle of Cambridgeshire. 

I needed to drop Steve off at a place a few miles hence so thought I’d spend the rest of the day sorting Delores out. On the way we notice water pouring from the back of the van – bugger! When putting the picnic chairs away we’d knocked the hot water tank drain. Doh! Oh, and we’d left the storage door open – luckily nothing missing! Stop at Tesco on route back to site to pick up a few bits and pieces for lunch/ dinner etc. then wander back to site. Decide phase one is to empty the rubbish bin & loo cassette so I wander around the site for about 20 mins till I find the bins and the chemical waste point. Decide it’s too far to haul the Thetford so dump the rubbish, go and get Delores and drive around to waste point to empty loo – then drive back. Sorted! 

Wanting to get ahead of the game I start prepping some stuff for dinner so there’s less faffing later. Monty sits peacefully on step then potters off into long grass for a sniff around, 5 mins later hurtles back with oddly lopsided head – one side normal, one side swelling rapidly courtesy of bee sting. Rapid and panicky call to vet who tells me to administer ½ a Piriton pill. Catch cat (not many places to hide on a MH) and stuff pill down throat – swelling subsides though cat has more than a passing resemblance to a grey furry Ray Winstone. (I spend the rest of the day trying to figure out why one Piriton pill knocks a full sized human like me out cold but ½ a pill has zero affect on the lunatic moggy!) 

Finish prepping stuff for dinner so decide to clean myself up as I’m meeting a friend for lunch. Quick shower splash and then the water runs out. Then call from Steve to tell me he’s got stomach bug and needs drugs. So tart myself up as best I can with an egg cup of water, un hook, head off again, stopping to refill with water along the way (only 5 mins to find that!) and another stop at Tesco on route to nice lunch. 

As I race around Tesco I get a text from Steve saying “Having a nice relaxing morning?” 

I arrived early to collect Steve so sat in the back with the window wide open relaxing and reading a book. Steve arrived and we headed back to the site but I completely forgot about the wide open rear side window and almost decapitated several passers by along the way - I wondered why they were all waving at us...

Sunny Salisbury

We've got a bit of a thing about Cathederal cities.  Well some of them anyway, we're happy to give Birmingham a miss.  They're old with lots of nice cobbled streets and usually in the middle of some attractive countryside (you can see where Brum falls short) so we decided to head for Salisbury.  Another CL but this time a large famer's field in the middle of nowhere, a pleasant 1 mile stroll into the nearest village and a short (8 mile) bike ride into Salisbury itself.

I learned an important lesson on this trip - check the countour lines.  The 'pleasant 1 mile stroll in the nearest village' was lovely on the way there, downhill, but not nearly so much fun hacking back up the 1:4 hill.  Even the lure of some of the finest pub chips ever experienced couldn't lure me back down there in the evenings.  We shared our field with one other caravan and 2.5million bugs - or so it seemed.  Not sure who thought would be a good colour for motorhomes but it seems to attract every bug within a 10 mile radius.

Although we were in a very remote location we decided against letting Monty off the lead but at least he is now walking forwards!  He now seems to be relaxing into life on Delores and chills out more than we do.  In fact I'm considering starting myself on a diet of whiskas and milk - he's always very relaxed, never gains weight and has a lovely glossy coat - must be worth a go, although I am worried it might make me inclined to try and lick my own backside...

Salisbury is a lovely city and the cycle paths are generally excellent although the hills did begin to gang up on us later in the day.  The views from Old Sarum were excllent and certainly worth the hike.  We spent a chunk of the day in the city visiting "Ye Olde Camping Shoppe" (Millets) and kitting ourselves out with new boots and socks.

As usual in the evenings the blue bucket BBQ was lit and the sausages were burned in the time honoured British tradition.  Call me simple (and many people have!) but you can't beat a nice BBQ sausage, a chilled glass of and a decent sunset with only the sound of birds to keep you company.  (Well birds and mosquitoes...)

26 Rules

So this weekend we found ourselves on a campsite with a very pleasant view. Nicely tucked away and right on the banks of the river. However when we arrived we were issued with a photocopied list of 26 rules which must be adhered to at all times and which are strictly enforced by the owners who are clearly more inspired by Chairman Mau than Billy Butlin.

Hang on - and I just noticed there's 27 as there's an 11 and an 11a

1. 5MPH speed limit at all times
2. Only on car per pitch all others to be parked on top car park.
3. Caravans/ Motorhomes must be pitched away from static bank and vehicles kept inside their pitch at all times.
4. No washing of vehicles, Motorhomes or caravans on site.
5. No parking on the tourers access road at any time.
6. Tourers vehicles are not allowed to park by the toilet block or in static parking area.
7. Strictly no parking on double yellow lines at any time.
8. Tourers are responsible for the behaviour of their visitors.
9. All visitors to park on top car park.
10. Visitors vehicles are not allowed on touring field.
11. No children under the age of ten allowed.
11a. No small children allowed near the river bank without an adult.
12. No small children allowed at toilet block without an adult.
13. No ball games.
14. Chemical toilets/ buckets must be emptied at the Chemical Disposal point and not in the toilet block, waste water to be emptied down the drain and not on the grass.
15. No washing of cutlery, pots, pans, plates in toilet block.
16. All rubbish must be bagged before placing in bin/ skip.
17. No washing lines allowed.
18. Dogs must be kept on a lead at all times and exercised off site.
19. Dogs are not allowed to be exercised on the river bank or the static area.
20. Any dog fouling on the site must be removed immediately or the owners will be asked to leave the site and no refund given.
21. Dogs are not allowed in toiled block.
22. The toiled block is a no smoking area.
23. An person not registered and stopping overnigh must book in at reception and pay the overnight tariff.
24. Charges for day visitors are £2 per adult/ £1 per child per day and must book in at reception.
25. Caravan arrivals from 12 noon.
26. All departures by 12 noon.

I find some a little odd, none of them wildly unreasonable and many of them blindingly obvious and I think it's treating us all like kids to a have to spell it out - and certainly not welcoming to have it thrust into your hand as soon as you arrive. Oh and if you don't read it it's posted in the toilet blocks along with a few other dos and don'ts... There's no 'pleases' or 'thank yous' anywhere. The tone of it and the manner in which it's enforced did NOT make for a relaxing stay... The site wardens patrolled the site 3 -4 times per day peering into each unit to make sure we were all behaving and were very fleet of foot if any wrong doing was suspected!

I guess we don't need to be told how to be have like responsible adults and we don't really want to stay at sites where people do need to be told.

Oh - and Monty behaved impeccably!

Lurking in Lincs.

Our longest trip yet with Monty - we needed to go house hunting in Lincolnshire and what could make more sense than to take a motorhome and cat with us?  It was also our first experience of using a CL/ CS (Certified Location/ Certified Site) which are basically fields or large gardens with basic facilities and the ability to take a maximum of 5 caravans/ motorhomes.

'Home' for the week was to be someone's large garden near to Woodhall Spa and very lovely it was too.  The owners were delightful and the gentleman came round and spoke to everyone on the site each day and was keen to explain all the lovely things Lincolnshire had to offer - though he was a little chatty and it could have been easy to have spent the day talking about the things we could see rather than actually seeing them!

Sunset through the grass

Delores motored up hill and down dale - yes there are hills in Lincolnshire.  Well there are in the Wolds anyway - the fens are a little on the flat side!  Much of the Woodhall Spa area reminded us of the New Forest except fewer cars and a LOT cheaper.  Free parking - can you imagine that in the New Forest?  (Mind you can you imagine anything free in the New Forest?)

Whilst motoring in a particularly quiet part of the county we decided to let Monty out of his cat carrier to see if he relaxed a little more as he was getting very upset being locked up every time we set off. Turns out he's absolutely fine although he does tend to peer out the windows at passing motorists which attracts a little attention.  He was a little spooked at first when he looked out of the back window and noticed other vehicles driving towards him (let's face it, we're in a motorhome, everything bar the odd tractor hurtles towards us!) but he soon found a few little nooks to hide in and is now much happier when we're driving around.

He did us proud again with his incredible reversing but at least there were fewer people around to see it this time.

On this trip we did notice the one downside of summer camping - people with their doors open watching TV loud enough for us all to hear what was going on.  Is there nowhere in the country to escape Graham Norton or Ant & Dec?  I'm sure they're very lovely people but when I book a campsite in the middle of nowhere I don't appreciate being stalked by people looking for Dorothy...

Incredible Reversing Cat

Well the time came for us to risk a venture out with Monty.  We'd got him used to the van and even spent a night in there with him to see how things worked out.  Fine as it happens - but it startled the pizza delivery guy when he was on his way to our front door and we ambushed him!  Monty was fine that night - although he did realise that it was easier getting up into the overcab bed than it was getting down again! 

We picked a site we knew well just in case he made a dash for it and headed off feeling somewhat nervous.  He wasn't impressed at the journey maybe it was my driving, or he could just have been singing along to some Abba classics, but either way he made a bit of a racket!

The only spot left at the site was next to a cattle grid, which wasn't ideal but at least we'd be safe from marauding cattle.  After we were settled we kitted Monty out in his new lead and harness and attempted to lure him outside.  The first thing I'd like to point out is that the website we bought the harness off has an excellent sense of humour "Your cat will love the snug harness" it told me.  Really?  A cat will love wearing a harness?  Not sure what zen like felines they're familiar with but Monty was certainly not impressed with it.  After several Houdini style attempts to wriggle free he gave up, but insisted on walking backwards...  So there's me standing guard over 4 sausages on our blue bucket barbecue whilst Steve behind me is in charge of the reversing cat.  We certainly attracted plenty of attention.  Could have been the cat or possibly the fact that our BBQ seemed to be setting off all the smoke detectors in all the vans in a 200m radius. 

Next trip is 4 nights in Lincolnshire.  A four hour drive and four nights with Monty in the middle of nowhere - what could possibly go wrong?